I miss the real, unshackled, unbridled random smiles
Sept. 9, 2020
“It was only a sunny smile, and little it cost in the giving, but like morning light it scattered the night and made the day worth living.” — F. Scott Fitzgerald
They are the subject of so many famous paintings, songs and poetry. They are smiles and I miss them.
We see them in magazines, online, on TV and in old movies. Marilyn Monroe is quoted as saying, “A smile is the best makeup any girl can wear.” We can now see them through those clear masks that hopefully are helping people living with hearing loss by allowing them to read lips and some of those fashion mask-makers have added painted-on smiles but they are kind of creepy, no? All too often we see them in crowded places when we shouldn’t see them. We do see them in our little family or friend bubbles but not as much since COVID-19 came to live with us.
I miss the real, unshackled, unbridled random smiles. Smiles between co-workers meeting at the coffee machine, strangers passing in a hallway, stepping into an elevator, strolling through a park or in checkout lines in the store, smiles of students as we share a light moment in the classroom, smiles as committee members brainstorm ideas for the best charity fundraiser ever or rejoice with a ballroom full of supporters coming together to make a difference!
Behind the masks we are held hostage by our negative thoughts and emotions as we lament our losses: of life, health, work, joy, normalcy and hope. We are pushing through the changes in day to day life and trying to adapt to our new normal. I’ve written about this before in this space. My Purple Suitcase that I vowed to leave intact and ready to go on that vacation we cancelled the day our government issued the travel ban (I must confess I have taken a few items out since March 14 to get me through the summer. Who knew it would last this long?).
The smile is also something I’ve written and lectured about in the context of the power of face to face human interaction. Technology, as wonderful and magnificent as it is, allowing us to reconnect virtually, has left so many of us, especially the younger generation, alone together: texting instead of talking, gaming instead of playing. In an article written just a few years ago, academics I interviewed warned of a time when technology could eventually rob us of our ability to empathize. They hadn’t factored in how a global pandemic could further threaten the most basic and fundamental human experience, the exchange of a few intimate words, an arm around a shoulder, holding a hand, meeting eyes in a smile, the ability to feel for someone.
When I begin my journalism classes, we take a few moments to stretch, breathe and smile. Science tells us that the act of smiling, triggers the movement of certain muscles that cue the brain to release endorphins, happy hormones, a “Runner’s High.” Yogis tell us to picture your heart smiling to fill the spirit with positive energy. But smiling doesn’t just make the smiler feel happy. It is contagious, infectious! As inspirational author Roy T. Bennett says, “It’s hard not to feel happy when you make someone smile.” Today we stand apart, gather on Zoom, touch through gloves and sanitizer and mask our smiles.
Humanity has learned so much by embracing the change brought about by the pandemic. It has motivated scientists, engineers and first responders and, fingers-crossed, political leaders to help move us forward, strengthened, protected and enlightened by this experience. And what can the rest of us do? Be considerate of each other. Wear our masks, socially distance and keep smiling. Mother Teresa famously said “We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do.”
What we can and must continue to do is find other ways to smile at others.
Connie Smith is a freelance journalist, part-time professor at Mohawk College and presentation skills specialist. Contact her at conniesmith.ca