What will you tell them…about the pandemic?

A sign reminds us all we’re in a pandemic.

A sign reminds us all we’re in a pandemic.

One day down the road someone too young to read this now, too young to remember or not yet here, will ask you, what was it like?

There will be books and blockbuster movies about the year (years?) the deadly Corona virus wiped out millions of people and changed the world.  The science, the politics, the back-lash and economic fall-out will be chronicled along with the terrible toll it took on so many.

 The archives will document the inspiring stories of our frontline heroes and providers, the factory workers who re-tooled to provide PPE and sanitizer, volunteers who kept the needy fed and sheltered; how typically these horrendous challenges brought out the best in humanity. Then there will be statistics on the positive impact on planet Earth as industry and vehicular traffic slowed emissions and perhaps the rate of global warming. There will be rejoicing and reflecting once the hoped-for vaccines begin to save the rest of the globe’s population. Some will see it as a higher power that pushed the re-set button and maybe, just maybe, it will be written that we will have found some new enlightenment about how we treat one another and our environment.

But what about you and your story? Maybe you are working from home, struggling to make do with reduced income or government assistance or retired but quietly following the directives the experts tell us will bring about an end to the pandemic.  You have given up social activities with family and friends, travel plans and the simple freedom of walking down the street or wandering through the mall without a care about how close you come to a stranger...a small price to pay as many social media postings. remind us.  Our parents and grandparents went to war.  We can sit on a couch. Yes, we can. Or we can do things we never had time to do B.C. (before Covid). 

Whenever life challenges came my way in the past, I was grateful I had the time, thanks usually to a change in employment, to spend with my parents in their final years, sisters going through a rough time, a new puppy to train even though she ended up training us!  It’s okay to look for the gifts when you have time, whatever the reason.  

When I’m asked, what was it like for me, I will say:

1.      I thought more about living in the moment. I became mindful about selfcare and didn’t lose things or bump into things as much.

2.      I cherished the extra time with my best friend and life partner, even though he really wasn’t into Netflix.

3.      I reached out more to relatives and friends. I waved and said hello to passersby.

4.      I was grateful for the unconditional love of our four-legged guardian angel Millie who was a source of joy, forced us to walk every day and was always a comfort through life’s heartbreaks and disappointments.

5.      I constantly challenged myself technically:  teaching online, apps and memes, despite having to reach out to a younger member of the family for help, often.

6.      I cooked…from recipes and from scratch.  I used to call my culinary efforts “bought from scratch” and I honestly don’t know what I fed my family when there never was time.

7.      I nailed Sudoku and Crosswords (medium difficulty but full disclosure: I had to cheat a little).

8.      Though I committed to learning the ukulele I didn’t beat myself up for not advancing beyond “Somewhere over the Rainbow”.

9.      Ditto for learning Spanish and Italian and improving my French and German.

On the more mundane level…

10.   I came to know the joy of a re-organized Tupperware drawer.

 My story about the pandemic is far from over.  It will never get written up in a book, unless I write one, or be turned into a blockbuster movie but I hope that someday, someone’s life will be a little richer for it, even if it just makes them smile.

So, what will you say when someone asks, what was it like?

 Connie Smith, Always Good New, is a free-lance journalist, former CHCH-TV news anchor and teaches at Mohawk College. Reach her at conniesmith.ca

 View the article on The Hamilton Spectator website here.

 

 




The best gift you won’t find wrapped up under the tree this year

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This is a very different Christmas and holiday season for all of us everywhere. There are no Santa Claus parades, no Christmas parties, or at least there shouldn’t be and there will probably be a run on small turkeys to adorn much smaller dinner tables. Many are grieving loss. Celebrations associated with all faiths are being subdued, in some cases cancelled.

The pandemic has made it an absolute necessity to stay home if at all possible, socially-distance and comply with all the protocols to stop the spread of Covid19.  While technology allows us the means to connect virtually, it is sad that we can’t physically be with family and friends, it is exhausting for first responders and frontline workers and it is devastating for those whose incomes are suffering.

 We do what we can to support local businesses. Budgets are tight and shopping, where permitted, can be a stressful experience. But that doesn’t mean we cannot and should not adapt to a new kind of celebrating, a new kind of giving. Sociologists and anthropologists tell us that these rituals play a major role in binding communities together and we certainly could use some binding together right now.

Dimitris Xygalatas is an assistant professor in anthropology at the University of Connecticut.  In an article on the university website UConn Today, he explains that ritual, “remains a powerful tool for promoting resilience and solidarity. In a world full of ever-changing variables, ritual is a much-needed constant.” He adds that new rituals in reaction to world or life events are just as important, pointing to people in cities around the world applauding health care workers for their tireless service during the pandemic or comedian Jimmy Kimmel and his wife encouraging those in quarantine to hold formal Fridays, dressing up for dinner even if they are alone.

As a Christmas baby, I have always celebrated my birthday Christmas Eve to try to separate it from the busyness of Christmas Day.  Well that created more busyness, but hey - it’s my family’s ritual and we are still working on how to change that this year.  Everything points to Zoom. So, why can’t we change the ritual of giving as well? Or add to it? Just maybe the best gift to each other is one that doesn’t even cost a cent. (Hmmmm…since there are no more pennies, the expression should become, “doesn’t cost a nickel, dime or quarter?” Let’s just jump to, “doesn’t even cost a loonie…or two.”)

There is a wonderful short story by O. Henry called The Gift of the Magi (Candlewick Press). It’s about a poor young couple, Della and Jim, living in a tiny, spartan New York City flat in Victorian times, who skimp and save to buy each other the perfect Christmas present: she a gold chain for his prized pocket watch, he a comb for her lovely, long hair. Unable to afford either gift, he sells his watch to buy his beloved the comb and she cuts her hair to buy her beloved the chain.

In his epilogue, author O. Henry compares the three wisemen who brought gifts of wealth to baby Jesus in the manger, thereby inventing the art of giving Christmas presents, to Della and Jim who gave up their greatest treasures for each other. Yes, the sacrifice was the gift!

More than a century after O. Henry’s death, his lesson is just as relevant, perhaps even more so. The greatest gift to one another isn’t always a comb or a pocket watch chain or anything else you’d find wrapped under the tree, but the gift of sacrifice. Whether it’s for family, friends or total strangers, as we isolate, sacrifice the hugs and socializing; as we shield our smiles behind masks and endure a little loneliness, knowing together, virtually, we can hasten an end to this awful chapter, that’s the ultimate gift we can give. That’s priceless.

O. Henry said it best in the final line of his story about Della and Jim:

“…let it be said that of all who give gifts, these two were the wisest. Of all who give and received gifts, such as they, are the wisest. Everywhere, they are wisest. They are magi.”

This December, 2020 let us all be magi so that one day soon we can unmask our smiles, hug one another and celebrate our rituals, old and new, together, really together, like never before. That will be priceless!

Connie Smith is a free-lance journalist, media instructor at Mohawk College and member of the Order of Ontario, who believes in the power of positivity.

View the article on The Hamilton Spectator website here